Simpson Desert & Beyond July 2022

Simpson Desert and Beyond 24 July – 7 August 2022

Day One Sunday 24 July

Meet Up at Thargomindah

Strewth .. So I’ve met the crew.  They seem like a good mob and boydo they have some fancy nests!!  There’s Jen who’s flying solo, Ann stuck between Ross and Kenny, but I’m sure she’llhold her own being an ex-cop from the Kimberley. Then there are the galahs from Bris-vegas – Mark and Julie, Vicky and Ian, James and Pam.  That Vicky seems a bit too keen on themagpies for my liking though! (Football reference)

The Mexicans, Chris and Cat are a couple of good sorts ‘cause they shared their nest with me on the first night.  The elders, Ross and Kenny seem like they know what they’re doing, certainly know how to feed a mob.  Let’s see what the next few days bring.

The crew had lots of questions and Ross tried to answer them all but in the end Ross made a statement that was to be repeated often during the tour..”we’ve got your money so we don’ care!”  I know Ann heard this at least twice a day and just laughed.

Thargomindah is a very pretty little town.  Famous for having the first geothermal generated electricity in the whole of Oz way back in the early lastcentury.  They lit up the street and Ireckon my ancestors would have appreciated the warm lights to rest on.  The lights would have been warmer that thewelcome we got from the local (and only) pub owner.  She was a dragon who wouldn’t give a kooka acracker but the crew had to eat there or starve.  I headed bush for a mouse hunt.  But the town boasted a swanky coffee jointwhich seemed to attract all the crew as soon as the sun came up.  There were also lovely huge murals of some ofmy friends- a big goanna, a lovely echidna and pretty parrot.

Day two Monday 25 July

Thargomindah to Burke and Wills Dig Tree.

Bloody rooster woke me up early, which wasn’t so bad as I could watch everybody packing up for the day ahead –it looks like a learning experience for a few of them! The family (otherkookas) bid us farewell as we set off in convoy, but only after that nicefella, James, bought Chris and Cat a coffee! Chris owes James bigtime.

‘Twas a pretty quiet day on the road, but I did my best to help Chris with driving -the photo says it all.  I loved the red dirt landscape interspersedwhit lots of green vegetation in places. Looks like they’ve had a bit of rain around here.

Stone the flamin’ crows! One ofthe oncoming vehicles threw up a stone into the windscreen and scared the shit out of me!!

We stopped at Innamincka fo rlunch and to wet the whistle – possibly some of the most expensive whistlewetting experience some of the fellas have had for a while. I recognised DickSmith’s private helicopter bird park near the pub and pointed him out to a fewof the crew who went and said hello.  Hewas eyeing off a flooded river crossing. The crew also had a squiz at the local cemetery which had lots of gravesfrom a long time ago. Lots of interesting stories to be told there.

So then onwards to the Burke and Wills Dig Tree where we are now setting up for the night.  Looked like the set up is also a learning experience as well!

Looking forward to a chat around the campfire and a good feed. Thanks Chris and Cat for looking after me. Chrishas heaps of photos.

Day Three Tuesday 26 July

Dig tree to Betoota via Haddon’s Corner

Well we made it safely to the dig tree, thanks cat and Chris for looking after me so well.  I am now in the safe custody of Julie andMark from Brisbane.  They seem niceenough, but not off to a good start with me. Julie certainly doesn’t like sharing her Gin and tonics – one sip from me and I found myself knocked to the floor in front of everyone!! Certainly ruffled my feathers.  They tell me tomorrow is a travel day, so I will see how I go.

The morning was beautiful, aglorious sunrise and some great entertainment watching the crew pack up. Some packups were better than their setups, while others struggled with tents andportaloos – what a hoot to watch.

The crew seemed pretty interested in the Dig Tree and the stories about the blokes, Burke and Wills, and theirsorry companions. My ancestors tell the story of how they had a simple task but made it difficult with carrying too much stuff, having too many hangers on andgenerally stuffing around trying to look good rather than get on with thejob.  And then they both died and theirmate only survived because the local aboriginals took pity on him and kept himalive with their great bush tucker.  Youcan imagine how my kooka family laughed and laughed at their stupidity.  But the place is pretty for an overnight campand a bit of history.

Leaving the Dig Tree was also interesting, from my observation the 2 team leaders felt we had not seen enoughof the campground, so we drove around a bit, looking at the scenery,backtracking and going in circles, such fun – some said we had our own Burke and Wills moment – but I think that’s a bit harsh.

The drive on the dirt road challenged all the drivers with lots of bulldust and corrugations but on thewhole, it was pretty good.  I was verystartled to see a camel on the road at one point, and also numerous humpless camels.  I was also a bit surprised to see Jenny suddenly stop to say hello to a random stranger.  This occurrence, together with radio chatter about pelvic floor exercises for women and men, has this poor bird veryconfused and concerned about this group!!

However, I was encouraged to seehow the team handled the first sand dune exceptionally well, although in my carit was close to terrifying!  Too much speed makes for a rough ride that has again ruffled my feathers.  But this is a learning experience, and I amsure all will get better.  I just need to NOT go with Mark and Julie in the desert!

On our way to our next camp, the crew took a detour to Haddon’s corner.  Ididn’t see the point to a lump of iron in the middle of nowhere… too flat andround to perch on and no trees in sight. Apparently this is a very important spot on the ground where SouthAustralia and Queensland meet. Nothing to see here but what a man puthere.  No bird I know would give 2 hootsabout it but the crew got excited and took photos and by the stickers aroundthe place, lots of campers had visited the place.

We are now in Betoota, an unscheduled stop but very welcome campground. The building is a very old pub that started as a stopping point way backwhen.  It became derelict for many years because the old foreigner who owned it was a nut case who refused to let it be used as a pub after he died some time after 2000.  Anyway finally the current publican got hold of it and opened it up as a pub and welcome camp ground and it was a sight for sore wings.

I will be handed on tonight and Ihope my next custodians continue to not keep me in my bag.  I like to look around and be included in the drinks and storytelling.  I hope they are kinder to me than Julie was.

Day Four Wednesday 27 July

Betoota to Birdsville

Last night I was left out of the bag and joined in on drinks.  I wasen trusted to the youngsters, James and Pam for the night.  James, not a noted beer drinker even managed to have 4 beers.  I sat around the fire with my crew out the front of the Betoota Hotel.  They were telling very scary stories about big crocodiles and sharks with some people from Townsville. That’s when I knew it was kooka bed time.  But that was not before Rob, the publican, gave me a nip of baileys.

I woke up early in the swag and was confused as none of my family were singing in the trees.  We hit the road towards my ancestral home“the village of birds” (Birdsville).

On the way we stopped to see the Betoota Serpent and boy was that a big snake! Plenty of kangaroos on the road and James almost hit a couple that jumped across in front of me. Silly duffers they could have ended up in the roo and claret Pies at the bakery.

We arrived at Birdsville and did the Royal tour including the cemetery, racecourse, Burke and Wills tree (the other one), artesian bore and tourist information centre which culminated witha beer at the iconic Birdsville Hotel.

I saw some of my cousins, the pelicans, at the caravan park and thought it would be fun if each car in thetour has a name/handle for the UHF. I suggested it to James and Pam and they got onto it straight away.  James lovesthe whole radio chat thing.  

Ross and Ann’s car – “big dog” as it’s the leader of the pack.

Kenny is just “Kenny” Like the movie as he is in charge of the crapper

Ian and Vicky’s car – “chuck” as in spear chucker, Ian trained a medal winning javelin thrower!

Mark and Julie’s car – “chief” as Mark was a chief of staff for bigwigs in Queensland.

Chris and Cat’s car – “coitus” as Chris’s antics were very similar to Russell Coight!!!

James and Pam’s car – “itchy” as in Itchy Nissan  Pam became “scratchy”

Jenny – “lone wolf” as in wolf Creek as she stopped to help a stranger.

Looking forward to adventures with my new custodian.

Day Five Thursday 28 July

Birdsville to the Desert camp

The last activity of yesterday was a trip up Big Red sand dune to watch a magnificentdesert sun set. We all set off for our first run at Big Red albeit up the backside of the dune, called the chicken run. Ann was driving Big Dog’s truck anddidn’t make it the first time but with Kenny’s advice, she made it the thirdtime.  Ha ha.  Everyone else did a sterling job.  There were a lot of people at the top andAnn’s champagne went down a treat.

My day on the road with Big Dog and Ann.  I shared Ann’s nest last night. It was very cosy and warm until Ann decided to get upfor a twinkle.  That was fine.  I perched on the swag bar.  But Ann got distracted by the bigger twinkle,the amazing night sky.  I saw nothing unusual. Me and my ancestors have been looking at it for centuries. It doesn’tchange and is always mesmerising.

Our day started early as Big Dog had ordered curried camel pies for everyone’s brekky.Amelia aka Lone Wolf (changed to indicate she was flying solo) was exempt as she doesn’t eat animal.  I like Amelia and hope they never invent curried kooka pies!! But Big Dog would never let them get me, please?? I know some camels around here and hope none are missing.  

With brekky over, we finally got to the activity all the crew had been waiting for… the desert.  So they all blindly follow Big Dog into the morning dust with Kenny bringing up the rear to make sure no one can back out.  

I feel for Ann who suffers from car sickness.  She turns pale when I hear Big Dob tell her there are 1200 sand dunes and we go over all of them.  But I get ahead of myself.  The first dune approaches and the crew are chatting with excitement.  The adventure begins.

Big Dogascends the first wave, flying to the crest with “show ‘em how it’s done” bravado.

Following much discussion about gears and tyre pressures, some disagree with Big Dog and do their own way.  I swoop out with Ann to watch the babies fly the nest as they rev up one by one to assault the obstacle.  

Itchy and scratch made the first run and pass with flying colours. Chief and commander inchief (CIC) follow suit. Both slipping and sliding their way to the top.  With a premonition known only to herself, lady Coitus desserts Coitus and jogs athletically up the dune to witness his triumphant ascention.  Alas Coitus is the first victim of the monster dune.

The stuff of infamy really as Coitus stalled in the race. Once again proving the pain of coitus interruptus!!!   We could all see the pain on his face as the first to be bogged and requiring RESCUE!! That foul stink of a word known well to a baby kooka who rushed to leave the nest too early and lying in a heap of feathers.

I thought how silly to feel deflated.  The rest of the crew all secretly thanking him for failing (no no actually providing a learning experience) and marvelling that it was not them.  Offering thanks to the desert gods.

But what a marvellous sight to see Big Dog flying backwards up the back of the dune, perch precariously on the cusp and with only 2 pieces of flimsy fabric, drag Coitus back from the brink of disaster and despair to the crest and over.

I must disclose here that, in hindsight, the bogged person was actually chuck, and I apologise for defaming coitus.

So after that excitement. The day passed happily enough.

Lone wolf requested a name change and accepted AMELIA, as a tribute to her pioneeringspirit and solo status.

There were a few confusing statements during the day to upset a kooka. Firstly Ann was complaining about keeping her puppies under control but I saw no small canines in the car, and secondly another lady mentioned holding her boobies… whichevery kooka knows is a sea bird.  This area has not been an inland sea for many millennia.

The last thing to say is that Kenny is a legend. The only human I know who can smell a leak before it happens.  He called a halt because he thought he heard a strange noise. How can you pick one noise as new and strange when clattering along on corrugations?  But he did and stopped to find that a petrol can was about to leak!!! And he fixed it.  Miracle.

Oh and one more thing, Ann maybe a bitch… no no she is a WITCH.  She asked Big Dog if he ever worried about his fridge sliding out the back of his van? No of course not was his reply … but then it did..  Big Dog thinks she is a witch.

Now we are nesting again and the crew are reminiscing about their triumphs and planning for the rest of the 1150 dunes.  We are in a bush camp tonight and I have already checked out Kenny’s new toilet. Bonza.

Day Six Friday 29 July

Bush camp

Amelia and I have rested in her fabulously appointed roof top tent.  It has lights and a toilet! We enjoyed a peaceful night before a superbly entertaining day.

Big Dog kept me going all day with his antics. First up was a frantic STOP call from the top of a dune to those waiting.  Big Dog had decided to charge up the day by blocking the road with his car turnedsideways.  What a champ! No one could have seen that coming.  Next, he suddenly halted half way up a dune when confronted by a MONSTER hole. Showing great leadership skills, he saved the group from disappearing to Middle Earth and relinquished leadership to the ever-competent Chief while he regained his balance.

Chief did a great job. He was only hindered by equipment failure yet again.  Now this can happen to all of us I know.  A kooka like me has no equipment for this very reason.  Unfortunately, Chief’s awning had come loose and was jangling and dangling secured only by the front mounting. I did hear some cruel commentary from the group about Chief’ sengineering skills and aptitude and their lack of practical application to the current circumstances.  The awning was secured, and we travelled on.  The group also reminded Chief of his other notable challenges – his half mast sand flag had been felled not TWICE but 3 times and his jerry can had tried to head off on its own.

Big Dog assumed control of the pack and reminded all to check their nuts at the nextstop.  Coitus said this was good practice,but lady Coitus refused to help.

Chuck also featured today with his slipping roof rack, secured manfully by Big Dog and Kenny.  Chuck had obviously NOT checked his nuts. Later, Chuck had another entry when he became low on charge. He had lost power and couldn’t get it up again. Kenny and Big Dog to the rescue but in the end it had to wait till camp.

Lady Coitus continued her wonderful botanical series to keep all entertained and educated.  I am appreciative of he superb wit and command of the language, She even demonstrated a deep love of environment. This is encouraging for a native bird such as me.  The Coitus’ even spotted the fabled green parrot – a distant relative of mine.

Today’s driving was slow and challenging and it was discouraging to note no lady drivers except my Amelia. I particularly enjoyed smooth travel, flying along9so to speak) across the salt lakes and their surrounds.

Day Seven Saturday 30 July

Bush camp

I’m feeling happy after spending a day with the one and only inspirational Jen.  I’ve now been handed to Vicki and Ian in the Chuck wagon for today’s adventures.

Well the morning got off to a great start. Blue skies and not cold at all.  Group seemed to be calmly packing up or enjoying their 5 star porridge or whatever that stuff is called breakfast.

I pricked up my ears when I heard coitus seeking a marriage councillor on the trip.  I thought “strewth” did Coitus forget to look after Kat last night.  I did hear Coitus assuring her he did, in fact, erect that porta potty correctly last night.

Chief dropped his flag this morning …What’s new!! Big Dog last his flag at one stage too.

Our wonderful school teachers offer much wisdom as we travel along but Big Dog feels he’s heard enough facts from the educators. He will be screening future travellers for a limit of one school teacher per trip to apply.

Scratchy is driving this morning.  I was worried about her keeping her eyes on the road as she was intent on seeing that elusive camel out the corner of her eye.  Itchy assured scratchy he’d watch for camels; he did look a little cross-eyed at our first stop!

“Tight nuts” has been suggested as our team motto. Chucky might have benefitted from that yesterday.  I saw Ross checking his nuts today and chucky said he was much relieved to be in such safe hands.

Chucky just hit a huge crater.  I know I’ve heard all these expletives many times but seriously, if I was given a worm for each time Chucky said “oh fudge”, I’d be feeding my family for the next month! Anyway,Chucky got out and checked his rack. He had a smile on his face and in fact the entire group had much admiration for Chucky’s rack.

Ross nearly ran over a snake – I was very cross with him as that snake would have been atasty snack. The snake was a taipan, so lucky we didn’t find it in camp.

It’s amazing the temperature variation in the various car’s temperature gauges.  Coitus claims his is always running hotter than everyone else. I wonder why that is. Lady Coitus says she’s planning another trip through the desert. Captain Coitus suddenly lost his enthusiasm for driving and fell back from the lead cars.  Maybe they were discussing the marriage counselling stuff again.  I’s kind of surprised about that because they were trying to get some sort of jiggle noise sored when we stopped for lunch. I wonder what caused the roof top tent to become squeaky?

I heard the group discussing a theme song for the tour. I wish I could communicate with them. I was hoping for “Kookaburra Sits on an Old Gum Tree” but not one of them thought of that.  These humans lack imagination.

Now for the movie theme – perhaps my favourite, especially seeing I’d disappointed my favourite song was not chosen – BIRDS it is!!

Chief’s having a quick stop to close his back window – fresh air was nice but the dust was getting a little too much to bare.  Must be getting close to our stop for today as the travellers are starting to talk dinner.  I hope itchy and scratchy invite me to dinner – mushy mud pies sounds amazing. Finally I was listening to the ABC radio today when the song “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” cam on. I thought of this group – how good are they!!??

Day Eight Sunday 31 July

Mt Dare

SQUAWK

What has happened this morning?  Did Jen wet the nest? She is one organised Gal this morning. And what of Vicky and Ian? Ireckon they are just itching to get on the road and bottom out a few more sandhills.

Speaking of Itching.. that reminds me that Itchy and Scratchy found a lizard this morning…a lizard… in the desert…. A gourmet feast… my breakfast prayers answered.   So I lined it up, set off on a gentle breeze and began my descent towards that tasty feast – only to see them SET ITFREE!!!  No wonder the climate is changing when you cobbers mess with my ecosystem.

Did you see old mate Coitus this morning? Grinning from eat to ear after successfully dismantling the Coitus ensuite. Some people just perform better with an audience, I guess. Anyway, it was about time he followed instructions.

The convoy was on a wing and a prayer today, hoping for a tail wind to get them along to my favourite waterhole, PURNIE BORE.  I was hoping to catch up with my cousins there but not much luck.  They’d mostly moved on.  The water level was very low and confined to a much smaller area than previously.

Team Coitus placed me up on the dash to watch the road. The long road.  The long red road.  The long red dusty road.  The long red dusty slow road.  The long red dusty slow bumpy road. The long red dusty slow bumpy soft road.  The long red dusty slow bumpy soft corrugated road. The long red dusty slow bumpy soft corrugated unpredictable scary road.  The long red dusty slow bumpy soft corrugated unpredictable scary exhilarating road.  The long red dusty slow bumpy soft corrugated unpredictable scary exhilarating intriguing road. THE long red dusty slow bumpy soft corrugated unpredictable scary exhilarating intriguing glorious ROAD.

I reckon that road was rougher than wearing a pair of hessian underpants!!!

FINALLY we got to Dalhousie Springs where chucky was looking forward to a hamburger andmilk shake only to be disappointed by Big Dogs empty promise.

I reckon the weary travellers all enjoyed their refreshing dip in the spring.  Itchy was so excited he peed himself, but you couldn’t tell because the pee was the same temperature as the springs.  The crew all swam away from him.

The crew paid a visit to the ruins of Dalhousie station. Even for a kooka, it was a lonely desolate place and hard to believe that anyone would think it a great location to set up family and business.  They tried hard it is clear to see with various buildings for different purposes. A bit spooky if you ask me.  I didn’t see any friends there.

The convoy is happy to arrive at Mt Dare, to enjoy hot showers and a real toilet.  But once again, the crew can’t believe how inhospitable the road house staff are to visitors.  If there was an alternative drinking hole, we would all go there.

Day Nine Monday 1 August

Chambers Pillars

Well my initial elation at the prospect of an evening in Ann’s nest soon turned to fear and trepidation as we left the pub and entered the encircling darkness.  We stumbled past shadowy buildings, the levy bank and eerie shapes of trees… too many trees!!  We wandered aimlessly following a weak headlamp. I wanted to shriek at Ann that I knew where the nest I had stayed in last night was located… but nothing came out.

In shame we returned to the light of the pub to await the departure of a more savy crew.  Kenny took pity on us and left with me, Ann and Jenny, to escort us home. With unerring steps, Kenny found our nest. Then Jenny admitted she was lost as well.  Her aerial abode was beyond her sight.  Staunch as ever, Kenny sallied forth with us for company and soon her lofty silhouette loomed out of a grove of trees.

The rest of our night passed undisturbed except for some undefinable rustling which Ann went to investigate with no result.  The culprit would be revealed as the day progressed.

Now before we follow up with the days events which were many and exciting, I must return to the other gossip of the evening.

Love shack number 5.  Or the Chiefs retreat – though Ann and I doubt Chief has ever taken a backward step.  This proved prophetic for events later in the day.

The heavy betting was the couple was looking for some privacy and heavy petting… but I had heard them talking quietly and know that Mrs Commander in Chief was sick and tired of the Pack/unpack routine and the drag of the nightly sneak to the public toilet so had begged Chief to splash out for the love shack.  Both happy for the crew to think they were anxious for a bit of Coitus completes rather than just being a pair of lazy old farts.

In the morning they returned to the crew area bright and rested.  Chief greeted Coitus with the phrase “morning coitus”.  Now Coitus took the tone as one of “action completed successfully”. Whereas Chief thought his delivery was more interrogative.  As in “did you have morning coitus?” and was happy when Coitus returned a nod.

As it happened, CIC stated the best thing Chief did nor her all night was to get up first and turn on the aircon so the room was warm when she got up!!      Happy wife happy life.

Our next observation of the morning had to be explained to me.  The male bonding ritual of “sharing apod”.  Seed pod I thought.  I could join in but thought it not normally ahuman delicacy.  But Ann explained the ritual involved a person (Coitus) with a much-valued Pod of crushed seed, graciously sharing this finite resource with a fellow crew member (Itchy) who coveted this crushed seed.

Simply add boiling water.  The transaction complete,they parted company without the slightest hint of human contact but evidently satisfied.

There is still much to report before we even leave the campground.

Again, and to my horror, my favourite food was found – but lost before it could be offered to me.

A mouse was located in Coitus’ engine …. So much happens to Coitus.  As the day progressed, it was discovered that every vehicle had been visited by mice that had defied all manner of zips, clips and plastic to eat food to their hearts content.

BD and Kenny hinted that they actually brought the mice with them as a joke.  Worked for me!.  I did volunteer to search the cars for my lunch but no one agreed.  Mouse droppings bad enough without my contribution.

There was another event which Ann called “taming the beast” and had to do with Coitus attempting to publicly fold up their porta loo. You had to be there!!

Not sure if anyone noticed but BD started his day in a new singlet and clean shorts.  Most disconcerting.

Our day progressed much like the others.  Easy driving, changing scenery and friendly banter on the radio.  Itchy and Scratchy loved the radio and to keep crew entertained, they had brought along a couple of hundred trivia questions.  It seemed to work and everyone got involved in trying to find the answers.  Ann knew some answers but the vital piece ofequipment for her to do so remained nestled firmly on BD’s upper thigh and grabbing it was not an option.

One of the interesting events for the day was going to the Centre point of the Australian continent. Totally unremarkable except for the flag and suitable plaques.  Disappointing for the crew as the toilets had been destroyed so back to the bush dunnies.

We travelled through some communities which Ann thought were similar to those she had seen in the Kimberley’s.  Infuriately many houses destroyed and people living in tents.

We followed the original Ghan rail track and found (and avoided) lots of dog spikes from the railway sleepers.  BD’s theory was that someone threw them around every few months as surely the originals must have all been found years earlier.  There were also interesting ruins of the original sidings and stations.  Water towers still there but rusting.

The only other unsettling event for the day… Chief went Rogue!!! And he used his unquestionable leadership skills to take the spear chucker with him.  He drove ahead in defiance of BD.  Chuck soon recognised this treasonable act and returned to the safety of the pack. Chief continued his defiant coup.

Finally realising the futility of his actions … as he had no idea where he was leading us too.  Rather than return with his tail pipe between his legs, he waited patiently for the pack to catch up.  Chastened, he offered BD a dog spike in supplication and sheepishly settled into his assigned place in the queue.

His lust for autonomy crushed for now.  Kooka willkeep watch.

Day Ten and Eleven Tuesday & Wednesday 2/3 August

Alice Springs for 2 nights

Thankyou Ann for looking after me so well. Unfortunately, I am now back with the Chief team – my last experience was average so hopefully this will improve as I understand I will be with them for 2 days.

We arrived a tour campsite at Chambers Pillar.  The area was very scenic with weird, tall rock pillars. Itchy said it was like a place called Monument Valley in his favourite country, America.  Ann agreed though there were no Indians around.  I flew off to look for cousins but only found the dwarf varieties who didn’t have much to say.  There were terrific wild flowers and lots of food .. I mean lizard tracks but nothing to eat.

The last night at Chambers Pillar was a bit ordinary even for tough kooka.  Wind, rain and mice kept everyone onedge.  Not a lot of sleep was had.  Anxiety increased as Ross and the ever-helpful Kenny suggested and early departure.  Apparently red bull dust, rain and amateur drivers is not a good combination in this remote area.  So a quick pack up and the team were again on the way, re-joining the old Ghan track and dodging the prolific dog spikes scattered strategically across the track.

Finally, BD called for a rest stop for coffee and breakfast. Even I, as a worldly-wise bird was impressed with his skill at locating a stop that had both a toilet and an ATM in this remote area.  The rest of the group however, remained unimpressed.  BD took the opportunity to collect desert passes. Some had trouble finding them and were threatened with huge fines if they weren’t returned – to which one in the group responded loudly “you have our money and we don’t care”.  This seems to be a growing attitude amongst the tagalongs and the leadership team.

After a few hours’ drive, entertained along the way with Itchy and scratchy’s trivia quiz,the group found themselves in Alice Springs. We checked into the relativel uxury of cabins for the next 2 nights. As I flew around the park I was amused to watch everyone clean vehicles, undertake maintenance and so some washing.The group were in high spirits and looking forward to some sightseeing. BD and Kenny made an appearance late in the afternoon and were almost unrecognisable even to me as the teams long terms mascot. Both had showered and dressed up ready for a night on the town. BD had even had a haircut and beard trim. He mumbled something about leadership challenges and the need for him to freshen up his image.  But I know he was just looking forward to night out on the town.

Over the next day, the chief team hit the tourist spots pretty hard and I found myself rushing all around Alice taking in the sights and learning about the servicesi n the area. I watched a teacher hold class at the school of the air. I visited the old gaol and marvelled at the primitive and basic facilities.  I learned about some extraordinary women across many employment fields.  I looked over Alice from the fabulous Anzac Hill. I visited my fellow Australian birds and animals at Desert Park.  I even saw and learned about the wonderfulwork of the RFDS in Central Australia who have aircraft that can fly higher andfaster than I can.

On returningto the caravan park, I found all members of the team relaxed, refreshed andready to face the next series of challenges and torture that BD has planned.

Day 12Thursday 4 August

Cadney RoadHouse

Today I amwith Vicki and Ian in the chucky wagon. I was just settling in nicely for another drive when we came to a screaming halt. I’d almost forgotten about my experience in this car last time but I wasquickly reminded as the “oh fudge” started early today.  Vicki’s bedding fell off the roof onto theroad as Ian forgot to put it inside the car!!

We stopped ata camel farm today. Pam wasn’t overly impressed to see mangy looking camels in their pens out the back.  I saw a while cockatoo in a cage out the back too but he wasn’t in a talkative mood. Ian was happy though as he woofed down a camel pie.

Next stop wasto see a big dent in the ground. Apparently 4000 years ago, a meteorite hadlanded here. Back on the highway, seems quite busy on the road.  Jen voiced her annoyance at caravans going too slow and frustrating a few of us. Take note Chief and Julie when you pick up your caravan – women inToyota 4WD’s are not to be messed with.

Just before we arrived at our destination we finally saw some camels in the wild. They were possibly sleeping as they were laying down….let’s face it, if we came through aweek ago they might still have been standing.. such is life!!

I’m travelling with Jen again tomorrow and excited for that.

Day 13 Friday 5 August

William Creek

What a great morning!  The wind from the previous day has ceased and Amelia and I had a wonderful rest in her tree top tent.  The first exciting event was the Ghan ,cruising past with its 24 carriages. Others in our team complained of yelling arguments at 4am at the petrol bowsers.  Amelia and I had slept on.  

Pam produced a carton and offered scrambled eggs to all. I was outraged. The progeny of a relative broken, beaten and boiled.  Not looking forward to my next appointment with Itchy and Scratchy! (Unless they go to empathy classes).

As we pulled out of the driveway, BD decided to head north again.  It was another trick …Luckily he realised the error of his ways before it became embarrassing. A quick convoy U-turn and we were headed in the right direction.  As we drove, the low scrub gave way to an even more arid landscape with trees only in flood plains and creek areas.  Large areas of gibber (rock scree for miles) became common and the ever-present red dirt made for spectacular scenery.

At Arckaringa we saw the highlight of the Painted Desert with the amazingly colourful rock formations. Truly spectacular.

At the Oodnadatta pink roadhouse everything was PINK. The cakes were home-made and everyone tucked into some great brunch.  There were pink tea towels, flamingos and one of our party was looking to purchase some pink tour junk.

Chuck checked his rack and we were off again.  Thistime to the Algebuckina Bridge, one of the original Ghan track bridges over a flowing river.  The bridge is intact and set up for tourists to walk on part of it. Very clever.  Itchy had problems with wind and privacy whilst attending to his toilette.  Yes the wind was howling and a simple error in the wiz department could have spelt disaster.

Onwards Creek and the team were so keen to fly, they booked immediately for a jaunt over Lake Eyre.  I’m pleased that everyone appreciates my flying prowess and attempts to emulate it.

The campground was not appealing to many of the team and they piked again, booking rooms for quite exorbitant amounts.  Luckily Amelia, Coitus’ and our feeless leaders voted to brave the fearsome gale force winds and set up tents.  I love the outdoors.

William Creek did have one interesting feature and Amelia took some photos of me sitting atop some space junk – created by those aspiring to fly to ridiculous heights.

Before I leave Amelia for the last time, I must say how thankful I am to her.  She has inspired me to have confidence in myself and COME OUT so to speak…I am really female!! I have hidden my identity skillfully for many days but would really prefer you all to refer to me as Miss Kookie from now on.  Kookie for short.

My next day will be with the wonderful quiz masters, Itchy and Scratchy.  I hope they have had their empathy class.

Day 14 Saturday 6 August

Mungeranie Road house

I thought they were silly getting a room, however it was really toasty in the room and they really looked after me. Others complained in the morning how cold it was. Notus. We were rested and warm. Speaking of silly, I don’t understand why you would book a plane to fly over Lake Eyre when I can do it all by myself.

I saw lots of water and plenty of cousins, especially pelicans. Some of them I had previously said hello to in Birdsville.

In the car I met Kularoo, their new friend who had joined them since my last visit.  We look off towards Mungeranie and our first stop was Coward Springs at the southern edge of Lake Eyre.  Empathy galore as they fed me some home-made date scones. Some crew went into the not so warm spa.  Nothing like Dalhousie springs. It was just a puddle!! Scratchy took me to the museum which taught me that I have a lot of relatives living in the nearby wetlands.

We said a quick hello to my dancing cousins, the brolgas and a seagull.  There were no hot chips so I don’t know what he was doing here.

We stopped at Maree and Scratchy rode a camel.  We even went to the MCG!!!  The crew enjoyed refreshments and lunch at the Maree pub. Itchy had a sausage roll and it was yum. Again he shared it with me. So much empathy from this young team.

The town was a sort of museum in the open, with train engines from the old Ghan and there are even old tin houses where the Afghan workers lived when camel trains were the go. Fascinating stuff.

We hit the road again and saw a snake, maybe another taipan, a shingleback goanna and a cow on the road.  I was hoping for some road kill, but itchy refused to stop if we did see some.  Given my gender, Scratchy was kind enough to ensure my dignity is protected by providing me with a dress. However, there’s a picture of me on it!!  I thought she had better taste.

It has beenv ery interesting travelling with this crew. I have learnt a lot. Well looked after by some but I really miss my dad and it’s time to say farewell to return to the nest.

At last we have arrived back in Birdsville to end our fabulous trip.  I stayed around for dinner but had a nap while the crew did washing and cleaned cars, all preparing to fly home to thei rown nests next day.  

The crew al lwent out for dinner on the last night of the tour, after arriving back in Birdsville.  We talked about the highlights of the trip:

Ann was blown away by the colours and patterns in the Painted Desert, thinking of all the millennia of wind and rain that had shaped the landscape.

(Chief and Commander in Chief) Mark and Julie loved the sand hill driving, the desert camping and the Chambers Pillar location.

(Scratchy) Pam opted for Sunset on Big Red and the wildflowers.

(Itchy) James said seeing the look on Pam’s face when she made it up Big Red.  We all loved that moment.

(Amelia) Jennifer said hers was driving through the amazing, ever changing landscapes with all those red sand hills, white salt lakes and exquisite flowers.  She was ecstatic about the flight over Lake Eyre too.

(Coitus) Chris had a laugh at himself- clearly conquering the pop up ensuite was a highlight for him, but driving the Simpson sand dunes was a real winner.  He added the “excellent amenities at Cadney Park Homestead!! Followed closely by Betoota and Mungarannie!!

(Mrs Coitus) Cat Driving over the salt pans and the wonderful wildflowers on display And… the wonderful radio commentary.

I think Mrs Coitus deserves a vote of thanks and a medal for putting up with her nickname and all the teasing that came with it.  Well done Cat.

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